My guide to determining the next prime minister

Personally I think that the leadership of this country should be determined by making all the candidates take part in a weird combination trial with elements from the following:

1) Gladiator
2) Total Wipe-out
3) Takeshis Castle

and just to make things interesting

4) Come Dine with Me
5) Strictly Come Dancing
6) X Factor

The parties new leader will be whoever finishes with the most points.

In the event of a tie there will be a bonus round of

7) Snakes and Ladders

The Bishop’s Stortford Civic Federation

federation
fɛdəˈreɪʃ(ə)n
noun
1.
a group of states with a central government but independence in internal affairs.
“the Russian Federation”
2.
the action of forming states or organizations into a single group with centralized control.
“a first step in the federation of Europe”

It’s funny because this is a Facebook group of like-minded people who want to help and improve their beloved town, when really nothing of the sort goes on in this group.

All I see in this group is whining, and ranting, and hatred for this that and the other. The vast majority of the posts from members amount to nothing more than digital curtain twitching. And most certainly not a federation.

Every day someone posts something that someone else gets the hump with because their values/auras/whatever don’t quite align. But instead of talking things out like the adults we all allege to be, it descends in to a chaotic argument, like children in a playground.

Everyone wants every problem resolved. Everyone wants a perfect town.

But…

Nobody wants to act to resolve anything. Nobody wants to act to help the town.

We all just want perfection.