It Scares Me

It scares me how angry I get over nothing.

It scares me how I see all the negatives long before even one positive.

It scares me that one day you might realise that I’m really not that good a person.

It scares me that one day you might realise that I’m really not that good a parent.

It scares me that I still think about suicide and self harm a lot.

It scares me that we might never buy the house we deserve.

It scares me that I can’t provide everything you deserve.

It scares me that one day I might not be able to provide full stop.

It scares me that you might one day get bored of our routine.

It scares me that you might get bored of me.

It scares me that you might die before me.

It scares me that I might one day have to live without you by my side.

It scares me that I might not be as good at my job as I think.

It scares me that I might not get the pay rise we so desperately rely on.

It scares me that people might only be friends with me because they are scared of me.

It scares me how I feel tired all the time.

It scares me how some days I just can’t be bothered with being an adult.

It scares me how some days I wish I didn’t have to come home to a baby.

It scares me so times I get so lost in my fantasy life, I forget to appreciate how great my real life is.

It scares me how many things are on this list.

It scares me that I can’t talk to you because I don’t know how.

It scares me that we’ve both cheated in previous relationships.

It scares me that I really am boring.

It scares me that when you jokingly complain when I’m too tired for sex, you might not actually be joking.

It scares me that I did more things wrong in my past than I admit to.

It scares might that I probably did more things wrong in my past than I realise.

It scares me that because of that, people I have wronged might never receive an apology.

It scares me that I don’t apologise enough.

It scares me that I apologise too much.

It scares me that so many things scare me.

It scares me that being scared of so many things might ruin my life.

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