Oh Christmas do, Oh Christmas do

Office Holiday Party

November 30th

Everyone loves a works Christmas do. Well…everyone except me. They’re a tedious charade.

What do you mean I have to spend my free time with work people. People who the majority of I can’t stand, and those that I don’t actively despise, I barely tolerate within the work environment. Don’t get me wrong, there exists a handful of people who I actually quite like, and get on with very well, some of whom I even consider friends. But they are really only work friends. My work life doesn’t come home with me if I can help it.

So why would I want to give up my free time, to allow work to seep its way in to my personal life?! Oh right, because its “the done thing”.

Wait, hang on, I have to pay as well? Goddammit. Well I guess it’s not much to ask for food and booze and entertainment. Except the food doesn’t interest me, except the cheese board. And I won’t be drinking in case of needing to escape quickly (to the hospital).

I’m quite interested to see if my request of a cheeseboard for starter, main, and dessert, has been accepted. The actual starters and mains didn’t really speak to me.

December 1st

9.00am

God. An entire evening with a hundred people I don’t like. And this is just the small event. The main company event is in a few weeks and is about 300 people, though the Bury Lodge events are usually a lot better than the others. And again we will have the car so can make a quick getaway if we want or need to.

3.00pm

Further discussions are held regarding how much neither of us want to go. And yet we still will. Buttercup is uncomfortable all the time. So this evening will be worse than normal. Uncomfortable and surrounded be drunk colleagues. While sober.

5.42pm

We have to be in the office to start the night in about 15 minutes. I’m more or less ready (very little effort being put in to this). Buttercup is not dressed. She can’t find anything that fits without her feeling fat. Pointing out that she’s not fat she’s pregnant doesn’t help. Pointing out that I think she looks gorgeous in anything also does not help. Wish me luck.

5.48pm

Johnny Cash came to visit. No idea what I’ve eaten to cause that. Fun times ahead!

Inappropriate? I know…

6.30pm

I had forgotten about the drag show. Three managers dressed up. Not gonna lie, this was actually a good laugh. Did a better job than I would have. That’s being said I would have had to do it at gunpoint because there’s no way I would have done it willingly.

HIC Drag Show: SJW
“What have I done with my life”
HIC Drag Show: NW
“Absolutely loving having hair again”
HIC Drag Show: SA
“Morticia Addams meets Harley Quinn”

7.15pm

Begin the murder of Fairytale of New York by inebriated colleagues. The one beer I’m allowed tonight is not nearly enough to make this tolerable. Though that being said I’m pretty sure this particular festive jingle was already murdered many moons ago by The Pogues.

7.30pm – 10.30pm

Cometh the hour, cometh the food. Sort of. Tooks a while for each course to be delivered, but then with 30 people in the group plus the restaurants other customers I guess there was quite a lot to do. Did not enjoy the food, it was bland at best, cannot believe we paid £30 a head for this. The night just seem to go on and on, certain managers just seemed to get drunker and drunker. Once in particular broke 3 glasses (that I know of) and fell of her chair at least once. I feel sorry for the other guests. Actually I feel more sorry for Buttercup and I. As you may have guessed, we didn’t want to be here.

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